Why We Fight

A Transformative Road Map to Healing Conflict in Any Relationship
Arguments are inevitable, but they don't have to be destructive. Learn to understand triggers, navigate emotions and turn recurring fights into moments of connection.

In Why We Fight, relationship coach and couples' therapist, Kim Polinder reveals the real reasons those familiar arguments keep returning, no matter how small the trigger seems. Polinder shows that most conflicts aren't really about the dishes or chores, they're about core wounds, attachment styles and negative self-beliefs that formed long before you entered any relationship.

Inspired by her years as a tech engineer, Polinder provides a systematic, root-cause approach, turning overwhelming feelings into a clear, step-by-step process to navigate arguments better. Through case studies, practical exercises and guided questions, you'll learn to troubleshoot arguments in real time, regulate your emotions, communicate effectively and reframe old patterns. Along the way, you'll discover not only how to improve your relationship, but also a deeper understanding of yourself and why you hurt the way you do.

If you're sick of feeling out of control as the same old fights keep bubbling up, Why We Fight provides a path to understanding the real reasons we argue and how to finally change them, before it's too late.

UK Delivery:

• Free delivery on all orders of £10 or more.
• £1.49 delivery fee on orders below £10.
• UK orders are shipped via Royal Mail 2nd Class.

International Delivery:

• Flat rate delivery charges vary by country.

Dispatch and Delivery Times:

• All orders are shipped from our warehouse in Northampton, UK within 48 hours of receipt during working hours.
• UK mainland orders typically arrive within 3-5 working days via Royal Mail 2nd Class.
• International estimated delivery times:
• Europe & Channel Islands: 7 to 10 working days
• USA: 7 to 15 working days
• Rest of the World: 9 to 21 working days

View our full delivery infomation here.