If You Were My Daughter

A Memoir of Healing an Unmothered Heart

From bestselling children’s author Marianne Richmond comes a powerful memoir about overcoming a mother’s emotional neglect and finding the courage to reclaim the story of your life.

“In her beautiful memoir, Richmond bravely finds her way through a legacy of emotional trauma, pulling us into her courageous, tender heart while bringing us closer to our own…a stunning story.”—Kelly McDaniel, LPC, author of Mother Hunger

At nine years old, Marianne Richmond’s life is upended when she collapses on her kitchen floor with full-body convulsions. “Pinched nerve,” says the ER doctor, a baffling explanation. But when one episode becomes many, it’s clear something is wrong. Afraid to be at school, in her body and in her life, Marianne desperately hopes for help and healing. But her emotionally unavailable mother—still reeling from her own past trauma—refuses medication on Marianne's behalf, preferring to try prayer and homeopathy.

At age 18, a full-body seizure in Marianne’s dorm room leads her to a diagnosis, medication, and—at long last—neurological intervention. Physically, Marianne feels “fixed,” but emotional healing proves more elusive. In the years to come, Marianne becomes a parent herself, and writes a new story for her life. She authors children’s books that touch millions of lives, each of them celebrating a mother’s unconditional love for her children. A love her own heart still longs to know. When her mother becomes ill, Marianne has a choice to make: will she be present for the mother who rarely felt present to her?

If You Were My Daughter is a story of learning to hear your own voice, of one daughter’s return to wholeness, and ultimately, a story of accepting that, despite all hope and longing, a mother’s “best I could” can still fall far too short. Most of all, Marianne Richmond illuminates how the stories we’re born into shape the ones we tell about ourselves—and reminds us that we have the powerful permission to develop a new relationship with what is difficult in our lives, to fully choose and embody who we are meant to be.

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