Lies My Mother Told Me

Tall Tales from a Short Woman
As seen on The View and Good Morning America! 

If you think Joan Rivers said funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things ONSTAGE, wait ’til you read the funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things she said OFFSTAGE…things that will make you laugh out loud…and keep Melissa in therapy for the foreseeable future.
As seen on The View and Good Morning America! 

If you think Joan Rivers said funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things ONSTAGE, wait ’til you read the funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things she said OFFSTAGE…things that will make you laugh out loud…and keep Melissa in therapy for the foreseeable future.

The only thing my mother loved more than making people laugh was lying…or as she’d say, “embellishing.” Her motto was: “Why let the truth ruin a good story?”

This book contains some of those stories.

*****************

“When Joan told a story, the truth disappeared faster than I did.”
— Jimmy Hoffa

“If you thought Dante’s Inferno was hot, read Lies My Mother Told Me; it’s a five-alarmer.”
— Dante’s second wife, Allie

 “Twelve of my twenty-six personalities loved this book.”
— Sybil

“The words on the page absolutely crackle and spark; I burned my fingers reading it!”
— Annie Sullivan

“The Bible may be the good book, but Lies My Mother Told Me is way funnier.”
— Matthew 2:14
The Jets. 7

“Lies My Mother Told Me is the feel-good book of 2022.”
— Torquemada

“All’s not well that ends well. I’ve had massages with happier endings.”
— Wm. Shakespeare

“Melissa, I don’t care what your mother said in this book, I LOVE your bangs.”
— Mamie Eisenhower

“Lies My Mother Told Me is so funny even those ‘woke’ m***********s will laugh.”
— Lenny Bruce

UK Delivery:

• Free delivery on all orders of £10 or more.
• £1.49 delivery fee on orders below £10.
• UK orders are shipped via Royal Mail 2nd Class.

International Delivery:

• Flat rate delivery charges vary by country.

Dispatch and Delivery Times:

• All orders are shipped from our warehouse in Northampton, UK within 48 hours of receipt during working hours.
• UK mainland orders typically arrive within 3-5 working days via Royal Mail 2nd Class.
• International estimated delivery times:
• Europe & Channel Islands: 7 to 10 working days
• USA: 7 to 15 working days
• Rest of the World: 9 to 21 working days

View our full delivery infomation here.